Talking To Your Children About Your Separation

Your life has taken a turn you thought would never happen. You and your partner have made the decision to separate. This may be the time to call on the expertise of Angela Grant-Lee Law. What is making things more troublesome is dealing with any kids that are part of you both. Separation is a confusing time for all, especially the children. This this when you and your ex-partner need to come together and help your kids navigate this

change in their lives. Your first task needs to be explaining what a separation is. Perhaps explain the situation in the easiest way possible using words they understand. Basically, separation happens when parents decide not to live together. (This is how www.ontario.ca explains it.) This is quite a matter-of-fact definition. It’s the time following the announcement that you need to be available.

Your kids may be shocked at the announcement which that has likely turned their world upside down. As parents, you need to be prepared to help them get through this time in their lives. After the initial shock of the announcement, feelings of uncertainty are more than likely to surface. They may wonder what their living arrangements will be and if they will still have a relationship with the estranged parent and their family. Be prepared to answer any and all questions. During this time, feelings of anger may come to the forefront. Your easy-going child may develop issues and you will have to deal with them while reassuring them that they are still loved by both parents.

What your kids want you to know:

 They want to be a part of both parents’ lives

 Don’t argue in front of them

 Be supportive of them

 Communicate with each other, don’t pass messages through them

 They want to be a part of both of your lives

Your kids need to know why you’re separating age appropriately without making the other person the “bad guy.” Remind them that you’re not separating from them. That may sound obvious to you but your child may need to be reassured. Perhaps just tell them that “we don’t get along anymore.” Let them know that things will change but by telling them regularly that you love them may alleviate their pain somewhat. You need to

let the kids know it’s okay to talk about everything, that includes the other parent. Talk to your estranged partner about how questions should be answered. This will also show that you both are united in matters related to the children.

Keep the legal issues to yourselves. Children don’t need know to about them and become your sounding board. They are trying to get used to their new lives. Grant-Lee Law will take care of the legalities within your financial means. However, you need to take care of yourself and your child once the separation is decided upon using a co-parenting arrangement that will work. Angela Grant-Lee and her team will strive to help you find a solution to your co-parenting needs. Reach out to the team online. Angela Grant-Lee has a lot of Family Law experience in Burlington and beyond, so that you can be available for your children’s well-being.