Parenting Plan for Later School Age Children: 10 to 12 Years of Age
In this post we will go through the developmental stage and appropriate parenting plan for later school age children who are defined as being the age of 10 to 12 years old...
Hello readers,
In the first blog post of the series, “How a Child’s Developmental Age Can Impact the Parenting Plan”, we discussed how the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC-Ontario) created the Parenting Guidelines. These Guidelines take into consideration research conducted on how a child’s age and development stage is affected by separation. The guidelines are meant to help parents and professionals create the best child-focused parenting plan according to their circumstances. In the last post, we discussed the appropriate parenting plan for early school age children, defined as those who are 6 to 9 years of age.
In this post we will go through the developmental stage and appropriate parenting plan for later school age children who are defined as being the age of 10 to 12 years old. At this age, children are getting ready to start their journey into puberty and adolescence. With this, they become more independent and have a greater understanding of time and can appreciate future plans and schedules. They are focused on building their confidence as they learn from their experiences and compete in different activities.
The parenting plan needs to focus on the child’s activities and social life, and this should be maintained with both parents. It is important when making the parenting plan schedule, that parents take into account the child’s interests and activities, and work around them. Children at this age may get along better with one parent than the other, especially in cases of high conflict between the parents. Parents need to be aware of their own behaviour and should not influence or impact the relationship between the child and the other parent. In high conflict situations, it is common for the child to support one parent and refuse contact with the other. If this is the case, it is important that the parent with whom the child gets along with, ensures that the child follows the parenting plan unless both parents agreed to a change in the plan. If one of the parents tries to interfere with the other parent’s relationship with the child, or reduce the time the child and parent spend with one another, then intervention by a professional or the courts may be required.
Parenting plan schedules should be made in a way such that they encourage children to develop social bonds, participate in extracurricular activities and build their skills. This requires work from both parents to ensure that the child is able to maintain these relationships and activities. Children should have frequent contact with both parents and should have some overnight time or dinners during the school week as well as some time on the weekend with each parent. It is important that parents allow children to express their feelings and views, but ensure that the child understands that the parents will make the final decision. Parenting plans can vary as some children may have alternate weeks with each parent or may develop a 5-5-2-2 plan. Some children like to maintain a “home base” with one parent with alternate weekends and one overnight during the week with the other parent. This may be due to school, maintaining relationships or living arrangements. In this case, the child is not refusing to contact the other parent and this does not mean that the child does not want to spend time with them. However, there are times where the child may become closer to one parent than the other, and may not want to maintain contact with the other parent. If this occurs, it is important that all members of the family, being the child and the parents, deal with this accordingly. It is important that both parents ensure that the child has a strong relationship with the other parent.
For more information, you can find a link to the Parenting Guide here: https://afccontario.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/AFCC-O-Parenting-Plan-Guide-Version-2.0-December-2021-.pdf. You can also find the parenting plan template here: https://afccontario.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/AFCC-O-Parenting-Plan-Template-Version-2.0-December-2021.pdf.
To note, the above should not be taken as legal advice, and if you have any questions or concerns about your case please speak to a lawyer. To find out how we can help you with your matter, please visit our website at https://www.grantleelaw.ca/ or call us at 905-315-6837 to book your consultation now.
