Parenting Plan for Infants: Birth to 9 Months

Angela Grant Lee • July 12, 2023

Research has shown that infants can have strong relationship with multiple caregivers and this is seen as a protective factor by the infant...

As discussed in the previous blog post “How a Child’s Developmental Age Can Impact the Parenting Plan”, we discussed how the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts (AFCC-Ontario) created the Parenting Guidelines in accordance with a child’s age and development stage. These guidelines are meant to help parents and professionals create the best child-focused and realistic parenting plan according to their circumstances. As a reminder, a parenting plan is a plan created by former partners who have separated, and the focus of the plan is to determine how the child(ren) will be raised. This includes decision-making responsibility, and parenting time.


In this post we will discuss how the parenting plan should be created if there is a newborn infant. In this case, the definition of an infant is from birth to nine months. Studies have found that infants grow and learn at a fast pace. From the age of two to seven months, infants are able to recognize and grow psychologically attached to caregivers who provide care regularly. As they grow, the infant will play and have stimulation with the adult. They recognize that the adults who provide them with regular care will continue to provide for them and that their needs will be met by the adults they are with. Caregivers need to have the emotional availability and the skills to care for the infant and understand the needs of the infant. Studies have shown that consistent and positive care in a child’s life is important for their emotional and brain development. Research has also shown that infants can have strong relationship with multiple caregivers and this is seen as a protective factor by the infant.


           When creating a parenting plan, if one parent is the infant’s primary caregiver and the other parent has not dealt with the infant regularly, and has not developed the capacity to care for the infant nor developed a relationship with the infant, it is important for the parent to do so. The parent must be able to develop a relationship with the infant, and develop the skills to care for the child before they are able to care for the infant on their own. It is important that the parent has short periods of frequent contact in order to develop a connection and familiarity between the infant and the parent. The primary caregiver needs to support this connection, and should understand that it is in the child’s best interest and is creating healthy child development. The parent should visit the child for a few hours at the primary caregiver’s home for short parenting time regularly. During this time, the parent needs to be involved in caretaking activities such as feeding, playing, soothing, and putting the infant to sleep. Once a bond develops, the parenting time may extend to longer hours and overnight stays. There are recommendations that an infant should be breastfed for the first 6 months, but some believe that it will impact the parenting time for the other parent. However, there are accommodations that can be made for the other parent who is not breastfeeding. For instance, the non-breastfeeding parent can feed the infant though a bottle.


 It is important that parents communicate with each other about the infant’s needs and routines such as feeding and soothing the baby. Parents should have a communication log to exchange after each parenting time. This log will have information on the infant’s eating, sleeping, health and other developments and milestones that need to be shared. If the parents are unable to communicate about the infant, or if the parent cannot gain the skills to care for the infant, then the infant may need to stay with the primary caregiver. However, the other parent will need to maintain regular contact with the infant. If the parties are in conflict, a third party may need to assist in transitioning the infant from one parent to another, as infants are impacted by this conflict. It is important that either parent is not away from the infant for more than a few days as infants develop a preference for caregivers. To understand the needs of the infant, parents may find it helpful to consult with pediatricians or parenting professionals. If parents are unable to communicate, or the infant is not accepting of the changes between the parents, it may be necessary for the infant to stay with the primary caregiver while the other parent maintains regular contact.


You can find a link to the Parenting Guide here: https://afccontario.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/AFCC-O-Parenting-Plan-Guide-Version-2.0-December-2021-.pdf. You can find the parenting plan template here: https://afccontario.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/AFCC-O-Parenting-Plan-Template-Version-2.0-December-2021.pdf.


To note, the above should not be taken as legal advice, and if you have any questions or concerns about your case please speak to a lawyer. To find out how we can help you with your matter, please visit our website at https://www.grantleelaw.ca/ or call us at 905-315-6837 to book your consultation now.

Gift Giving While Co-Parenting

December 15, 2025
The holiday season often brings a whirlwind of excitement, family gatherings, and cherished traditions. For co-parents, it can also introduce a unique set of challenges. One of the most common sources of stress is gift-giving. Coordinating with your former spouse about Christmas gifts for your children is not just a good idea—it's a crucial step toward creating a peaceful and joyful holiday experience for everyone involved. This guide will walk you through the key benefits of discussing gifts with your co-parent. You will learn how this simple act of communication can help avoid common pitfalls, set a positive example for your children, and reduce holiday stress. By working together, you can ensure the focus remains on what truly matters: your child's happiness. Why Communication is the Greatest Gift While you are no longer a couple, you remain a parenting team. Approaching the holidays with a collaborative mindset demonstrates respect and unity, which benefits your child immensely. A short conversation about presents can prevent misunderstandings and ensure the holidays are memorable for all the right reasons. Let's explore the practical advantages of this approach. Avoid the Duplication Trap Imagine the look on your child's face when they unwrap the exact same video game or doll at both houses. While it may seem like a minor issue, duplicate gifts can create confusion and subtly send the message that their parents are not communicating. It also means your money and effort could have been better spent on providing a wider variety of presents. By simply sharing your gift ideas, you can avoid this scenario. A quick text, email, or phone call to check in before you start shopping ensures your child receives a diverse range of items they will love. This doesn't mean you need to plan every single gift together, but coordinating on the "big ticket" items can make a significant difference. A shared digital wishlist or a simple running list can be an effective tool to keep track of what has been purchased. The Importance of Setting a Spending Limit Finances are often a sensitive topic, and this can be amplified during the holidays. When one parent significantly outspends the other, it can lead to feelings of inadequacy, competition, or resentment. This financial pressure is unhealthy for the co-parenting relationship and can inadvertently make the child feel caught in the middle. Agreeing on a reasonable spending limit helps level the playing field. It ensures that neither parent feels pressured to overspend to "keep up." This conversation isn't about rigid accounting but about creating a sense of fairness and shared responsibility. It also teaches your child a valuable lesson: the spirit of giving is not measured by price tags. When children see their parents aligned on financial matters, it reinforces stability and shows them that thoughtful giving is more important than extravagant spending. Promote a United Front of Teamwork Children thrive on consistency and security. Seeing their parents work together as a team, even after a separation, is a powerful and reassuring message. Collaborating on holiday gifts shows your child that their well-being is your top priority. It models effective communication and problem-solving, skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. This teamwork extends beyond just avoiding duplicate gifts. You might decide to pool your resources for one larger, more significant present that neither of you could manage alone. This act of partnership can be incredibly meaningful for a child, reinforcing the idea that they are loved and supported by a united front. Remember, your child’s emotional security is deeply connected to the health of your co-parenting relationship. A collaborative approach to the holidays strengthens that foundation. Reduce Holiday Stress for Everyone The holiday season is already packed with to-do lists, events, and expectations. Adding conflict with your co-parent to the mix only creates unnecessary stress for you and your child. Proactive communication about gifts eliminates last-minute surprises, arguments over spending, and the tension that comes from uncertainty. When you have a plan, you can relax and enjoy the season. You won't have to worry if your gift will be overshadowed or if a misunderstanding will lead to an argument on Christmas morning. This peace of mind is invaluable. By addressing potential issues ahead of time, you free up emotional energy to focus on creating positive memories with your child. A stress-free parent contributes to a stress-free holiday atmosphere, which is the best gift you can give your family. When Communication Breaks Down Ideally, every co-parenting conversation would be smooth and productive. However, reality can be more complicated. If discussing holiday arrangements, gifts, or other co-parenting matters consistently leads to conflict, it may be time to seek professional guidance. Disagreements over finances, parenting time during the holidays, or general communication can become overwhelming. If you find yourself unable to reach an agreement, help is available. Angela at Grant Lee Law specializes in family law and is experienced in helping parents navigate the complexities of co-parenting. She can provide mediation services or legal advice to help you find common ground and establish clear, effective strategies for handling the holidays and beyond. Reaching out for support is a sign of strength and a commitment to your child's well-being.  Create a Harmonious Holiday Season Coordinating Christmas gifts with your former spouse is a small effort that yields significant rewards. It helps you avoid duplicates, manage finances fairly, present a united front, and reduce overall holiday stress. By prioritizing open communication and collaboration, you set a powerful example for your child about respect, teamwork, and the true spirit of the season. Your goal is to create a loving and stable environment for your child, and that doesn't stop during the holidays. A little planning goes a long way in ensuring the season is filled with joy, not tension. Remember to approach the conversation with a positive and practical mindset, always keeping your child's happiness as the central focus.

How to Prepare for Divorce and Custody Mediation

November 30, 2025
Mediation can be a constructive path forward when navigating a divorce or custody case. It offers a private, less adversarial setting to resolve disputes compared to a traditional court battle. However, walking into mediation unprepared can lead to frustration, stalled progress, and an unfavorable outcome. Treating it as a formal and significant step in your legal journey is the key to success.  This guide will walk you through how to prepare effectively for your mediation session. We will cover the essential documents you need, how to define your goals, and the mindset required for a productive conversation. Why Preparation is Your Greatest Asset Many people mistakenly believe they can simply show up and talk things through. This approach rarely works. Mediation is a structured negotiation, and the person who is better prepared often has a distinct advantage. Being prepared accomplishes several things: ● It builds confidence: Knowing your facts, figures, and priorities reduces anxiety and helps you communicate clearly. ● It saves time and money: When both parties are organized, the mediator can focus on finding solutions instead of spending billable hours sorting through disorganized information. ● It demonstrates seriousness: A well-prepared party shows the mediator and the opposing side that they are invested in reaching a fair agreement. ● It protects your interests: Preparation ensures you don’t forget a crucial asset, overlook a potential debt, or agree to a parenting plan that isn’t feasible. Step 1: Gather Your Essential Documents Your arguments and proposals must be backed by evidence. Start collecting and organizing your financial and personal documents well before the mediation date. Having these papers on hand allows you to answer questions accurately and support your position with facts, not just feelings. Financial Documentation Create a comprehensive file of your financial life. This should include: ● Proof of Income: Recent pay stubs, W-2s, or 1099s for the last two to three years. If you are self-employed, gather your business profit and loss statements. ● Tax Returns: At least three years of personal and business tax returns. ● Bank Statements: Statements for all checking and savings accounts for the past year. ● Retirement and Investment Accounts: Recent statements for 401(k)s, IRAs, pensions, and brokerage accounts. ● Property Information: Deeds, mortgage statements, and property tax bills for any real estate. Include recent appraisals if available. ● Debt Statements: Documents for credit cards, car loans, student loans, and any other personal or joint debts. ● Major Asset Valuations: Appraisals or estimates for valuable items like art, jewelry, or collectibles. Custody-Related Documentation If child custody is part of your mediation, gather information related to your children's lives. ● Children’s Schedules: School, extracurricular activities, and regular appointments. ● Child-Related Expenses: A detailed list of costs for childcare, health insurance, school tuition, sports, and other activities. ● Communication Records: Relevant emails or text messages that illustrate co-parenting successes or challenges. ● Proposed Parenting Plan: A written outline of your ideal custody schedule, including holidays and vacations. Step 2: Define Your Priorities and Goals You cannot get what you want if you do not know what it is. Before mediation, take time for honest self-reflection. What are your absolute must-haves, and where are you willing to be flexible? Create a "Best, Acceptable, and Worst" Case Scenario List Think about each major issue—asset division, alimony, child support, parenting time—and outline three potential outcomes: ● Best Case: Your ideal, most desired outcome. ● Acceptable Case: A compromise you can live with, even if it's not perfect. ● Worst Case: Your absolute bottom line, the point beyond which you would rather go to court. This exercise helps you identify your non-negotiables and areas where you can compromise. It transforms a vague sense of want into a concrete negotiation strategy. For example, staying in the marital home might be your "best case," but an "acceptable case" might be receiving a larger share of retirement assets to secure new housing. Step 3: Adopt the Right Mindset Your attitude is just as important as your paperwork. Mediation is not about winning or losing; it is about finding a mutually agreeable solution. Be Open to Compromise Both parties will need to give something up to reach a resolution. If you enter the room with a winner-take-all mentality, you are setting the stage for failure. Focus on finding common ground and creative solutions that address both your needs and the other party's needs. Manage Your Emotions Divorce and custody discussions are emotionally charged. While your feelings are valid, letting anger or resentment drive your decisions will sabotage the process. Practice staying calm and focus on the facts. If you feel overwhelmed, it is okay to ask the mediator for a short break to collect yourself. Listen Actively Pay attention to what the other party is saying. You might hear an underlying interest or a new idea that opens the door to a solution you hadn't considered. Listening does not mean you agree, but it shows respect and fosters a more cooperative atmosphere. Seek Professional Guidance Navigating mediation alone can be daunting. Having an experienced family law attorney on your side provides invaluable support. An attorney can help you understand your legal rights, prepare your financial disclosures, and develop a sound negotiation strategy. For those in our community, Janet Grant-Lee at Grant Lee Law is a trusted resource who specializes in helping clients prepare for and navigate the mediation process. An attorney can advise you on what constitutes a fair settlement and ensure the final agreement is legally sound and protects your future. Set Yourself Up for Success Mediation offers a powerful opportunity to shape your future on your own terms. By investing time in thorough preparation—gathering documents, clarifying your priorities, and adopting a cooperative mindset—you significantly increase your chances of reaching a durable and fair agreement. This preparation empowers you to negotiate from a position of strength and clarity, turning a challenging process into a constructive step toward your new beginning.

Plan Holiday Visitation Early

October 29, 2025
The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, family, and cherished memories. For co-parents, however, it can become a source of significant stress and conflict without a proper plan. Navigating shared time with children during this busy period requires foresight and cooperation. By planning your holiday visitation schedule well in advance, you can protect your children from emotional strain and ensure the season remains a positive experience for everyone. Waiting until the last minute to decide who gets the children for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas morning often leads to arguments and disappointment. This uncertainty creates a tense environment that children can easily sense. Proactive planning transforms a potentially contentious situation into a structured, predictable, and calm arrangement. This guide offers practical tips for creating a holiday schedule that prioritizes your children's well-being and minimizes conflict. The High Cost of Last-Minute Holiday Planning Procrastinating on holiday visitation schedules does more than just create logistical headaches; it can have a real emotional impact on your children. When parents are stressed and arguing, kids often feel caught in the middle. They may experience anxiety, guilt, or sadness, worrying that they are the cause of the conflict. This emotional weight can overshadow the excitement and joy that should define the holiday season. Last-minute decisions also rob children of the ability to anticipate and look forward to their holiday plans. They may not know where they will be sleeping or which parent they will be celebrating with until a few days before. This lack of stability can be unsettling. A clear, early plan gives them a sense of security and allows them to get excited about celebrating with both sides of their family. For parents, rushed negotiations often result in unfair compromises made under pressure. One parent might feel they "lost" a particular holiday, leading to resentment that can spill over into future co-parenting interactions. Planning early allows for thoughtful discussion and more equitable solutions that consider everyone's wishes and traditions. Practical Tips for Stress-Free Holiday Schedules Creating a successful holiday visitation plan is achievable with the right approach. Focus on communication, flexibility, and putting your children's needs first. Start the Conversation Early Don't wait until November to discuss December holidays. The best time to start planning is right now—or at least several months in advance. An early start removes the time pressure and allows for calm, rational conversations. You can put dates on the calendar and begin making travel arrangements or other plans without the stress of a looming deadline. Consider setting a specific date each year, perhaps in late summer, to finalize your holiday schedule. Treating it as a routine part of your co-parenting responsibilities helps normalize the process and reduces the chances of it becoming a heated debate. Prioritize Your Children's Well-Being When negotiating the schedule, the central question should always be: "What is best for our children?" This may mean letting go of your own personal desires or traditions. While it might be important for you to have the children on Christmas morning, it might be less stressful for them to stay in one home rather than being shuffled back and forth. Consider their ages, temperaments, and holiday wishes. If they are old enough, ask for their input in a neutral way, without making them feel like they have to choose a side. Their happiness and emotional stability should be the ultimate goal of any plan you create. Be Clear, Specific, and Flexible A vague plan is a recipe for future conflict. Your agreement should be as detailed as possible. Define exact dates and times for pickups and drop-offs. Specify which parent has which holiday in a given year. Common arrangements include: Alternating Holidays: One parent has the children for Thanksgiving and the other for Christmas, switching each year. Splitting the Holiday: One parent has the children for Christmas Eve and the other for Christmas Day. Sharing the Day: Parents who live close by and have an amicable relationship might choose to spend a portion of the holiday together with the children. While it's important to be specific, it's also crucial to remain flexible. Unexpected things can happen—a family member gets sick, or a special opportunity arises. Being willing to accommodate reasonable requests from your co-parent can build goodwill and make future negotiations easier. When to Seek Legal Guidance Even with the best intentions, some co-parents struggle to reach an agreement on their own. If discussions repeatedly break down into arguments, or if one parent is unwilling to cooperate, it may be time to seek professional help. A family law attorney can provide clarity on your rights and obligations and help mediate a fair resolution. A lawyer can assist in drafting a formal parenting plan that includes a detailed holiday schedule. This legally binding document removes ambiguity and provides a clear framework for years to come, preventing the same arguments from resurfacing each holiday season. Getting legal advice is not about "winning" against the other parent; it's about finding a stable, lasting solution that serves the best interests of your children. Create a Peaceful Holiday for Your Family Planning ahead is the single most effective tool for reducing holiday stress in a co-parenting relationship. It fosters a stable and predictable environment for your children, allowing them to enjoy the season without worry or anxiety. Open communication and a focus on your children's needs are key to crafting a schedule that works for everyone.  If you are struggling to create a fair and stress-free holiday visitation plan, you don't have to navigate it alone. For expert legal guidance and compassionate support, we recommend contacting Angela at Grant Lee Law . She can help you establish a clear and enforceable agreement that protects your children's happiness and allows your family to focus on what truly matters: creating joyful holiday memories.