Not Seeing Eye-to-Eye?

You and your ex may have totally different outlooks and thoughts about life but you have one thing you have to come together about…your kids. You may not like it, but it’s your reality. How you handle your kids while having differing parenting styles will have a big effect on your kids. Chances are you can’t stand your ex, but the love you have for your children must supersede everything about how you feel about your ex. As much as you probably don’t want to think about your ex and why they act the way they do, you’re going to have to. You got together for a reason and now you have kids. Any differences you had may have been part of the attraction that led to your union. Enter the children and eventual split and now you need to work through differences that may includ parenting styles.

The fact of the matter is that the actual separation or divorce is not what effects the children. It’s the parenting and disagreements that happen after the split that the kids can carry with them for a lifetime. If you hate your ex, perhaps talk to a friend, not your kids. Your family doctor can recommend a counsellor for you if you would rather talk to a third party. You really need to find a way to move past your hatred and deal you any lingering resentment.

If you’re finding it really difficult to move forward, the following tips may help:

·        Communicate with the other parent via electronic means so that the kids won’t witness arguing

·        Agree to not discuss subjects that you know will start arguments in front of the children

·        Don’t criticize the other parent to the kids

·        Perhaps have someone you both agree on and trust do the pick-ups and drop-offs4

·        Go into Mediation

·        Use counselling services

Take a check on your own behaviour if you really can’t along with your ex. Are you speaking badly about the other parent to the children? Or if one of you has a new partner, are they respectful to your ex with the kids? You may to keep an ear out to make sure all is well with the new partner and the kids. The same goes with others that have relationships with the children. Everyone needs to remember that kids are just kids and they didn’t ask for their parents not to parent them together and they need stability in their lives.

If you feel the children aren’t being looked after or you are concerned that they are in harm’s way, it may be time to revisit the Divorce/Separation Agreement. Perhaps things like child custody or visitation schedules need to be changed. A change in the Agreement regarding the children could be what needs to take place to have you seeing eye-to-eye with your ex. Talk to the team at Grant- Lee Law if necessary. Keep the legal issues to yourselves. Children don’t need to know about them. Grant-Lee Law will take care of the legalities within your financial means. Angela Grant-Lee and her team will strive to help you find a solution to your co-parenting needs. Reach out to the team online or give them a call at (905) 315-6837. Angela Grant-Lee has a lot of Family Law experience so that you can be available for your children’s well-being.

Grant-Lee Law can be reached by completing their online form or calling 905-315-6837.