My Spouse Just Asked for a Divorce. What Are My Next Steps?

Hearing the words "I want a divorce" from your spouse can feel like the ground has been pulled out from under you. While it’s natural to feel overwhelmed, uncertain, or even a little lost, this is a time to pause, take a breath, and focus on what’s next. Divorce, while emotional, is also a legal process—and taking the right steps early on can set the tone for a smoother transition into this new chapter of your life.

I’m Angela from Grant Lee Law, serving Burlington and Hamilton, and I specialize in helping people like you make sense of the complicated emotions and legalities that come with divorce. Below, I’ve outlined the steps you can take to start navigating your next steps.

Step 1: Take Time to Process Your Feelings

Divorce comes with a wave of emotions—be it shock, sadness, anger, or, perhaps, relief. Whatever you might be feeling is valid. Allow yourself the time and space to process what’s happening. Reach out to trusted friends or family members for support, and consider joining a local or online support group for people going through divorce.

Working with a therapist or counselor can also give you tools to manage your emotions while keeping your focus on what’s most important—your well-being and your future.

Step 2: Understand Your Legal Rights and Obligations

Every province has laws that dictate the divorce process, and Ontario is no different. Early on, it’s crucial to educate yourself on your rights and responsibilities regarding:

• Dividing Property & Finances: Ontario’s Family Law Act provides guidelines for equal division of property acquired during the marriage. Certain exceptions—such as inheritances or gifts—might apply.
• Child Custody & Parenting Time (if you have children): You’ll need to discuss where the children will live, how decisions about their welfare will be made, and how much time they’ll spend with each parent.
• Spousal and Child Support: Support obligations are determined by income, the length of your marriage, and the needs of the children, if applicable.

Navigating these legal elements can feel daunting, but this is where a skilled family lawyer becomes invaluable. A lawyer will help ensure you’re fully informed and prepared to make the best decisions for your unique situation.

Step 3: Consult a Family Lawyer

Before making any major decisions regarding your home, finances, or children, consult with a family lawyer. A consultation with a lawyer, like myself at Grant Lee Law, offers you clarity on the divorce process, including timelines, legal obligations, and what you can expect.

At this stage, we’ll discuss your goals, any potential challenges, and what steps you should take to begin safeguarding your interests. Whether it’s negotiating terms amicably with your spouse or preparing for a contested divorce, we’re here to guide you.

We always recommend documenting important details like financial assets, debts, and ongoing expenses—having these details ready will make your consultation more productive.

Step 4: Organize Your Finances

Divorce has significant financial implications, so understanding your financial picture is key. This includes gathering documents such as:

• Bank statements
• Mortgage and loan agreements
• Tax returns (personal and business)
• Credit card statements
• Pension or retirement fund details

Create a budget to help you manage expenses during the divorce and anticipate how your financial situation may change once the process is finalized. This foresight will help you approach the next steps confidently and make discussions about financial support and property division easier.

Pro tip? Avoid making big financial changes (like withdrawing money or selling property) without legal advice.

Step 5: Prioritize Open but Safe Communication

If possible, maintain open communication with your spouse to minimize conflict, especially if you share children. Co-parenting effectively involves collaboration. However, if conversations are tense or potentially harmful, keep communication focused and documented—email and text messages can help provide clarity and a reliable paper trail.

If direct communication becomes unmanageable, a lawyer or mediator can step in to facilitate respectful discussions on your behalf.

Step 6: Focus on the Bigger Picture

Divorce is a deeply personal experience, and no two cases are alike. While it’s tempting to focus on every little detail or past grievances, keep your eyes on the bigger picture—your long-term happiness, stability, and peace of mind.

Remember, there’s no “winning” a divorce. The goal is to create a fair, sustainable agreement that allows both parties to move forward.

Step 7: Build a Support Network

Beyond legal advice, having the right emotional and professional support in place is invaluable. Surround yourself with the following:

• Legal Professionals: A lawyer will protect your rights and guide you through every step of the process.
• Therapists or Counselors: Licensed professionals can help you process your emotions constructively.
• Financial Experts: A financial advisor or planner can help you understand how your divorce will affect your finances and set goals for this new chapter.
• Trusted Loved Ones: Friends or family members who uplift you are a vital source of comfort and encouragement.

Remember, You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Divorce is overwhelming, but you don’t have to face it on your own. At Grant Lee Law, we understand the emotional and legal complexities of this life transition. My team and I are here to give you the support and clarity you need during this challenging time.

If your spouse recently asked for a divorce and you’re unsure where to start, schedule a confidential consultation with us. We’ll walk you through the legal process, answer your questions, and help you build the next phase of your life with confidence.

Book your consultation today with Angela at Grant Lee Law in Burlington and Hamilton. Together, we’ll take the next steps toward the future you deserve. Just call 905-315-6837.